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The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
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Product details
Paperback: 181 pages
Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (July 9, 1997)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0787908703
ISBN-13: 978-0787908706
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
130 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#108,914 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
If one or both of your parents were narcissistic this book will finally allow you to make sense of the family you grew up in. It will allow you to understand you're not the crazy one and the situation you grew up in was wrong (especially when they wanted to pretend everything was right). If you're looking for some insight and understanding into your past I highly recommend this book.
This was the book I've been looking for. Written for therapists not the the general self-help market but very accessible for the average reader. The author uses the words "narcissistic family" to describe a situation where a child's needs couldn't be met, for whatever reason - alcoholism; depression, etc. Very helpful to think of it this way and to consider her advice not to justify it with excuses about the parents' own upbringing or existing problems. They couldn't give you what you needed and it has had a big impact on your life. BOOM. Helpful to read about how problems in school would have been handled by a "normal" parent vs. a "narcissistic" parent. I will re-read it many times, I'm guessing.
I was diagnosed by my first therapist as Dissociative Identity Disorder and second therapist as ADD and third one as Borderline Personality Disorder with comorbid Narcissism. Bottom line, I am "terminally unique", to put a positive spin on all these disorders.The book, even though written for therapist, is excellently written in a very coherent and crystal way that even the crazy ME is able to understand and to have "empathy" which I am not supposed to have, for the patients described in the book.I see myself and my family-of-origin in all those families and patients described in the book. I greatly appreciate the positive attitude and the empathy the doctors have for the patients like me who suffer from these disorders. After all, all these diagnosises are labels. And labels can be confusing sometimes and down right scary.My conclusion from reading the book is that most of the mental illnesses and/or disorders result from growing up in a narcissistic family. Personally, this understanding makes the recovery process and the forseeable future more tolerable. There is hope that I may be able to create/grow some substance into my so-called "empty shell".Bottom line, the book is worth every penny.
Honestly, this book is the single most useful tool in my struggle to understand my family, why I am like I am, why they are like they are, and the steps necessary to NOW take care of myself. I've lost track of the sheer volume of self-help books, therapy groups, etc. I have experienced in an attempt to learn and understand what this book outlines so clearly. It's been almost life-saving for me. It's pricey, apparently b/c it's written for therapists, rather than patients. However, it's worth every cent. Moreover, it's very understandable for the layman, non-therapist. The "examples" it provides clarify each idea and make it very readable. Personally, I see myself and my parents on every page. It's so "on point," it's eerie. I will re-read this book many times, undoubtedly. Prior to stumbling on it in Barnes and Noble one day (although ordering from Amazon, of course), I didn't understand the full depth of the concept of Narcissism and its impact on the "survivors" of such a parental system. I had the most rudimentary - and incorrect - understanding of the word, and NO KNOWLEDGE of the "system" that it actually is. BRILLIANT BOOK. The BEST SELF-HELP BOOK I've ever read.
Coming from a childhood home with a very Narcissistic mother, I found that I could not put this book down! Admittedly, this was not my first book on this topic, so I had a general idea of what they were talking about (this book is intended for mental health practitioners, but I didn't find that fact to be daunting at all, and I don't know if it's because I was already familiar with the topic).One of the very helpful aspects of this book is that it is specifically dealing with family narcissism. There are other wonderful books out there dealing with the multi-faceted aspects of narcissism in various settings (work, family, friends, etc), but this one is focused on family relationships as they relate to narcissism.Unless one has come from a background such as they describe here (and in other books of this topic), one cannot ever truly understand the devastation that family members can endure from a narcissistic parent. It has taken me years to heal from my childhood and I did end up having to totally "cut contact" with my very narcissistic mother a few years ago.I highly recommend this book for anyone in this situation. It is a bit pricy due to it's intended readership, but I feel like it was very helpful.
I love this book and the approach. As a psychologist I think the authors do an excellent job of identifying issues that are germane to those growing up in a home with narcissistic parents. The writing is very clear and the case studies really illustrate the concepts well. This is worth your time if you are interested in narcissistic personality disorder from a family vantage point.
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